All of Me: My Curves, my Edges, my Perfect Imperfections...

As a final project, I was asked to assess my health and journey to become integrated. Well, I am posting this for the world to see. On the left, me at 25 years old, the right, 45 years old.

My integration is real. What most can see is my size, what I see is in my eyes, my heart and spirit. I was broken and hurting many years ago. But through developing my mind, body and spirit, I am a new creature. My son gave me the superhero name, Phoenix Rizing. He said I have emerged from the ashes, stronger, better than ever! That has to be the greatest compliment a mother could ever hear.

Creating wellness involves integrating many aspects of your life: psychological, spiritual and physical. Before starting classes at Kaplan, I was on a journey to make my life more meaningful in every way. I started to address my physical life, first, because it was the most obvious to others and myself. Being over weight and not having a positive self -image affected everything I did; from work, to school, raising my children and what they were learning from me. My relationships suffered under the weight of my emotional stress. Always feeling judged and assuming that others judged me in a negative way created a constant state of stress. I did all the things the world told me to do to lose weight, eat less, and exercise more, calories in and calories out. I yo-yo dieted my way up to 300lbs. I was more depressed than ever. It manifested with anger, disconnection from my relationships, sarcasm, and a host of other negative emotions. I realized this was no way to live. So I began to search for a different way.

Psychologically, I knew there was something missing. So I sought help from a professional counselor. We begin to explore the reasons why I responded to things so negatively; we talked very little about my weight. Oddly, the more we discussed my emotions, the easier it was for me to exercise, make better food choice and lose weight. It wasn’t from a lack of knowledge, trust me, I did all the research on diet and exercise. But having someone to validate my emotions and guide me towards a new way of thinking opened the door to reducing my stress and allowing my body to work better, naturally. This opened the door for my spiritual growth. Although my counselor helped in many ways, I have always known that there is an energy that extends far beyond me, this life. I needed to reconnect. I slowly re-introduced myself back into the church. Quietly, I went only to listen. Then I began to ask questions and seek more information from books, spiritual leaders, friends, and strangers. I was lead to a deeper practice of prayer and meditation: a comfortable blend of stress management and faith. I gained the courage to try new things, close doors on bad relationships and seek positive ways to invest in my whole life. Kaplan University became a part of that investment. It gave a name to all of the things I had experienced over the last 5 years; they called it integrated health.

As a healthcare professional, it is so important that I continue to develop all aspects of my life. I realize that as I learn, my actions teach others. This will create a connection, a bonding of life experiences, which we as individuals need to grow. Success is never final; this is a continuing journey that I intend to take. Physically, I need to continue to seek health in both nutrition and daily exercise. Psychologically and spiritually, daily practice in prayer and meditation will allow me to reduce stress, while creating time to explore my dreams and thoughts to best serve others as a wellness professional.

Assessing myself in each domain can be as easy as using a rating scale from 1-10. Physically, 7; psychologically, 8; spiritually, 6. I know that physically I need to continue to set goals to move forward. It is very easy to lose sight if I become unbalanced in other areas of my life. With all of the task, school, work, home, my personal life gets little attention. That’s when I use exercise as a way to stay connected with others. Meeting a friend for a walk in the park or committing to taking the stairs or working out together has been helpful those times I just didn’t feel like moving. It is always easier for me to keep my promise to others; but I am learning that keeping promises to myself is just as important. Mentally and spiritually setting goals are more challenging. It requires faith and trust; two emotions that I have struggled with. But I am pleased with my progress and it is reflected in my journals as I write my experiences down. Journaling is a great way to see how far you have come in your thought process and practice.

To develop in all areas I have set goals: my intentions. Physically, I use my Fitbit to monitor that I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day, and walk no less than 10,000 steps. This electronic monitor is great because is takes all the information and syncs with my computer without me having to do anything. My calories burned and level of exercise are documented, and the results are indisputable. I look for my Fitbit to “celebrate” when I cross 10,000 steps. I expect that buzzer to go off early in the day, if not, I know I have work to do. Mentally and spiritually, I have set aside 30-40 minutes every morning for prayer and meditation. These are two different activities for me. During meditation, I use visualization on implementing task or completing steps to bring my wellness center to life. I pick small things, like the color of the offices, the music, the scents, things that make this place feel real to me. Then I pray that when I am unable to see past the obstacles, God will continue to guide me and strengthen me to have faith to move forward. For my personal life, I try once a week to do something out of my comfort zone; go out alone and meet new people, attend a function and make a connection, start a conversation. It sometimes is challenging for me because I stay to myself a lot. But I have gotten better at trying.

            

The task I use to foster goal development is a combination of things I have been doing for quite some time. I use interval treadmill training 3-5 days a week, along with weight training and yoga. It is not always in a formal setting, however, setting a goal of attending a yoga class twice a week and the interval training helps keep me focused on a routine. It becomes a part of my life like eating or brushing my teeth. I love to ride my bike to the store or park far away from work to add a physical component to routine task. For mental health, I have included the subtle mind exercise and visualization as daily exercises. To further foster growth and a deeper understanding, I am researching guided meditation courses in my area to attend. Finally, there is no substitution for prayer. Everyday I have a safe place to go, reconnecting to a strong foundation in my Christian faith, developing a sincere and profound respect for other faiths, and becoming more open to learn and share the experiences in my community. Serving others has become so important for me. So becoming more active in my church, developing a community garden where I can learn to grow foods for a sustainable life, and teach others is my newest passion. This is an opportunity to integrate mind, body and spirit as we work the land and share our life lessons together. We expect outreach services to spring from this project, going deeper into the community and touching the lives of others in need of good health, and connection.

 My commitment will be well documented in the programs and services I participate in with my community. I recently helped to present a health fair for my community, bringing education of preventative care and chronic illness management. The ground work has been done for our community garden; I am in charge of land management and composting. My activities keep my physically fit, cleaning, tilling, mulching and seeding over 15,000 square feet of land is not easy! But so very gratifying.   I will continue to journal, if not everyday, at least once a week to be sure that I am meeting my goals. And if I see myself slipping back into old habits, I will reset by using my six-week setting intention plan to get back on track. These six weeks are dedication to focusing one thing that will improve my over all well-being. If my weight is an issue, I may focus on journaling my food intake or the intensity of my workouts. If my spirit is low, I will seek guidance, maybe revisit my counselor to work on strategies together.

The most important lesson I have learned over this experience is I am worth it all; the good, the bad, the indifferent. This is my life. My experiences have given me an opportunity to grow and explore in the most profound ways. I could not be where I am today without the trials of the past. Everyday I look forward to saying that I have successfully managed another challenge; by faith, hard work, compassion, love and intentionally wanting to seek happiness for others and myself.